The Government of India has put a blanket ban on beef in Maharashtra. Mumbaikars — irrespective of their food choices and religious beliefs — will now face jail for 5 years and/or will be slapped with a fine of Rs 10,000 for a morsel of their favourite tenderloin steak or nihari gosht.
As soon as the news spread, lovers of beef from other cities, Chennai, Kolkata and Kochi, have been sympathising with their Mumbai counterparts. The social media has been abuzz with people inviting their relatives living in Maharashtra, especially in Mumbai and Pune, to come over whenever the craving for a juicy beef burger or a well-done steak kicks in. Following the trend, Spicejet will now offer cheap air tickets connecting Mumbai and Pune to the above mentioned parts of the country.
But according to our sources in the major ruling party of the country, Maharashtra is only a prelude to a country-wide ban on all non-vegetarian foods. The Government of India has lain down a future path for the country where vegetarianism will not just be encouraged, it will be enforced. “Our supreme leader wants to follow the example of Gujarat and apply it countrywide,” said our source.
While there is a lot of outcry regarding the issue, some groups of people have supported the decision as well. “We are happy with the ban. Now chicken chowmien and pork momos will not be available, so there will be no more rapes!” said Bunty Shehrawat, a supporter of Khap Panchayat.
“Non-veg food is foreign food. For akhand bharat we must all become vegetarian,” said the over-enthusiastic S. Subramanian, who was not even asked about his opinion.
Animal activists are also very happy as livestock will not be slaughtered for human consumption. “We are totally ready to undermine the fact that human beings are omnivorous creatures and need animal protein to nourish themselves. And while we are also still not clear as to what we will do with the rise in the number of livestock animals after the ban and that it may also disrupt the natural food chain, we are still happy with the ban,” said Monica Mehta, a crusader of vegetarianism.
So if vegetarianism is the way to be, are vegetables, milk products, pulses and other food sources to get any cheaper and is their production being raised to meet the burgeoning demands? To which we got a reply, “Gai hamari mata hai, hamein kuch nahi aata hai!”